I find that my opinion of Facebook has changed. I used to love it. Having some time away from it has changed my opinion. So has reconnecting with so many new people. New and people from high school days.
I find myself frustrated of late. I see these wonderful pictures by others having fun with their friends and family. All happy and going on adventures and such. It makes me sad. Sad that I don't have so much of this right now. It makes me reflect on where my life is, my marriage being in such a dead zone, and it overflows into other areas of life. I see that dissatisfaction breeds more dissatisfaction. This is apparently a slippery slope that I need to be cautious of.
I could list all the things I'm dissatisfied with. Marriage, body, house. It leads to concerns about feeling relevant and valuable. I'm not super career oriented. I've normally found much satisfaction with family, kids, church, friends. Not having some great career has never been a problem. I'm now in an environment with people who are almost all more educated than I am. Where people are very focused on going forward and perhaps coupled with the Facebook envy I'm reevaluating where I stand. I totally should have gone to college and that is something I will regret always. Normally, not having a degree doesn't interfere too much. I'm smarter (or quicker) than the average person and pretty well read. I don't think most people realize I don't have a degree. I don't lie about it, but I certainly don't bring it up in conversation.
So now, I read a bunch of blogs and I really do love these people. I can't wait for a new post and it feels so much more like connecting with somebody than even checking in on Facebook. It doesn't make me sad -- except the sad stories, there's totally empathy there.
I'm noticing that so many people are liberal or believe one side of things. I'm conservative generally, but I care deeply about other people and don't think that only CEOs should benefit. I see both sides and I'm just kind of sick and tired of the "we're right and you're wrong" game so many play within politics and life. Life has become so complicated and so many are just trying to survive and maybe enjoy part of their lives. I appreciate that it seems almost overwhelming to try to keep up on issues, but ultimately I think that's because even with education we've lost the ability to think and reason. We've been so overwhelmed with moral relativism that people begin to believe whatever is published by the group they identify with instead of thinking about why and how people come to their conclusions.
So, I may be leaving Facebook for a while. I don't know. What good is it if I just feel bad or am frustrated by the views and opinions of others. Do I post my own views in discussion with others? Risk being de-friended...which has happened. Do I care? I guess I do care or I wouldn't be writing this. I care because I'm more vulnerable right now going through marital difficulties and feeling so alone in my own life.