Friday, November 18, 2011


I have been sick most of my life.
I can't even recall the last time I didn't feel ill.  It is a fleeting state for me that often brings with it a renewed frustration with my daily health such that I wonder if it is worth feeling good at all.  It makes me feel worse when the symptoms come back.
I have allergies.  I went through immunotherapy when I was 16.  I passed out during the test (which I did on my own and now think, hey, where was my Mom?  I was pretty independent though so it doesn't really surprise me that I would go alone.).  I recall waking up and thinking I was in my room at home and couldn't immediately understand why the allergy doctor was there.  I eventually figured it out.  I wasn't home; I was on the floor in the doctor's office.  Funny, having the testing done today I wonder if it was as short a process then as it was today.  It was all of 15-20 mins.  Seemed like a lot longer back when I was a teenager, but then time is funny that way and fainting sure will mess up your sense of time.

I got my allergy shots for what seemed like forever (there I go with time again).  8 shots a week.  Not fun.

I had to go off my oh so precious antihistamine in order to do this test and I don't know how much longer I can stand it.  I stopped taking it on 5 days ago.  3 days in I thought I was going to put a hole in my eye lid trying to itch it.  My tongue itches, my hands are swelling, my shoulders itch, my stomach.  It is not fun.  I figure it will be worth it if they find what I'm allergic to and can do something to help me feel better.

However, the test today didn't show any allergies.  I told them I snuck 1/2 an antihistamine to avoid the loony bin on Sat eve.  The control test showed I was still having a histamine reaction.  My concern... what if they don't show any allergies?  I've kind of gotten my hopes up on feeling decent and being able to hear and not feel like I'm under water all the time.


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