Thursday, January 5, 2012

How could this have happened?

I have been willing myself to go so far as to want to be healthy with the idea that if I wanted it, there was an outside chance it might happen. (btw, I cannot type for anything on this tablet!) So after a year of this wishful desire to want to care and then want to do sometbing about it I have begun to actually (gasp) do something.

I started walking. Not far or anything. I think it's been maye 4 days and already my body wants it. I know this is ultimately is this thing but I'm having a hard time accepting this. this isn't who I have always been. I tend to be more sedentary, leave me one with my happiness box and we'll all be fine. Life is more than a writers stories and memories.

I walked last night in some pain. Tonight I worked overtime for the second day in a  row. I wasnt going to walk. Mh body rebelled. Unbelievable! So I had to do something while waiting for everyone to fall asleep.

I keep thinking about the quote... Fat doesnt taste as good as thin feels.

change the world

Borrowing from another blogger today.  (see link below)

We talk about these kind of things at church too.  That all we see in the world that requires change is so overwhelming... we end up doing nothing.  So many people are without food and clean water, so many people ask for money to correct this problem, how do I know where to put my money, my time, my prayers?  So I do nothing.  Kenton says, help the person in front of you right now.  Take advantage of the opportunity to give or to serve that presents itself to you today, this week and next week, take advantage of those opportunities.  You may end up in a larger roll than expected; you may not.  Brings to mind the starfish on the beach with one boy throwing them back one at a time.  Adult comes up to the boy to ask why he's doing that, it won't make a difference.  The boy responds, throwing one back into the water, "It makes a difference to this one."

4 Things You Can Do Right Now That Will Better The World

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

secret crush

I get involved in tv shows every so often.  I watch everything online or on Netflix and this affords me the opportunity to watch a series back to back.  I fall in love with the characters. 

Right now I've been watching Medium.  I am on season five and I am totally in love with Joe Dubois.  He is such a loving and sensative father and husband.  I love how he deals with his crazy wife and all the weird things she puts him through.  Even when he's upset and frustrated with her he is so loving.  I even googled the actor who plays him.  Oh man... I have it bad.

The good thing is that looking at their marriage it makes me want to be a better wife.  Perhaps if I am nicer (because Allison is way nicer to her husband than I am to mine). 

Before that I was in love with the guy from Law & Order Criminal Intent, Vincent D'Onofrio.  I googled him too.  (I google everybody.) 

I wonder who else I've fallen in love with on TV.  Probably every decent lead character. 

So right now, I'm sitting here with all the things going on in my life watching a tv show and loving the husband on it...loving all the characters. 

This makes me think about the Happiness Box.  Do you remember that from psychology and philosophy class? 

"We have developed a machine, a box with some electrodes and a life-support system, which we call the 'happiness box.' If you get in the box, you will experience a powerfully pleasant sensation, which will continue indefinitely with just enough variation to keep you from getting too used to it. We invite you to try it. If you decide to do so, you can get out of the box any time you want to; but perhaps we should tell you that no one, once they have gotten into the happiness box, has ever wanted to get out of it. After ten hours or so, we hook up the life-support system, and people spend their lifetimes there. Of course, they never do anything else, so their bodies tend to resemble half-filled water beds after a few years because of the lack of exercise. But that never bothers them either. Now, it's your decision: Would you like to step into the happiness box? Why or why not?" (Solomon & Higgins, The Big Questions, 8th ed., 30)

I think the TV (maybe in combination with the Internet) is a happiness box.  Sitting on a comfortable sofa with a steady supply of food or snacks or... chocolate and coffee!  I go there a lot.  I have to admit I like it there.  Anybody want to join me?

Tuesday, January 3, 2012


I laugh a little as I write that word because I've been busy.  Still, I am bored.  I usually have more intellectual stuff to do and I've had very little of it.  We have a shut down at work between Christmas and New Years so today was the first day since the 22nd that I've worked.  It actually felt good to work today.

I didn't sign up for anything.  By that I mean that... I didn't sign up for anything at church.  I applied to do a different kind of ministry, but nobody has contacted me about my application so I have no idea if they will want me to join in on the fun and chaos.

No women's bible study; which might not seem like a big deal to you, but I do this as a matter of fact and have done for for over 15 years.  This past year is the first time in many years that I've not been involved in one. 

The idea of not doing anything over the next few weeks or months kind of makes me nervous.  The idea of not being committed to anything also kind of makes me happy.  I'm just not sure I would continue to feel that way.  So, I asked if the church needed any leaders for the next round of studies they are doing.  I've led 2 groups, so I am at least qualified.

I guess I'm feeling a little rudderless.  This whole not having enough friends has thrown me a bit.  I guess I was so happy with having a group of friends for a while that when it whittled down to almost nobody I didn't quite know what to do with myself.  Now I find myself reliant on one whole person to fulfill all my friendship needs and that's not fair -- or possible.  I've now added a second person, so that's good.  I can work on building some more with one or two people at work, but they also have very full personal lives.  Hmmm, not sure where to go with this.

The plus side is that I am spending more time with my family.  That is always a good thing.  Perhaps that is what God intended.

(side note:  Lord, please help my daughter to find the power cord to the tablet so that wonderful little device might be charged and used and appreciated once again!)

I have so many wonderful ideas that if employed with consistency would put me in line for Mother of the Year; but that caveat (consistency) is the trouble.  Consistency is not a strong suit for me.  I am good at going to church.  I can be consistent there it seems only.

So, I remain bored.  Bored means I watch too much TV.  I've been watching a show about a family and am now falling for the husband/father because he's such a great hubby and father and it warms my heart.  I know he's fictional (I even looked the actor up online to read more about him...silly I know).  I go through periods like this where I latch on to someone because I've spent time getting to know a character. 

Well, bored or not, it's bedtime and I have work early tomorrow.

Blessings on you all.