So I talked with my Mom last night and that was helpful. She has lead a very difficult life (before and after becoming a Christian). One of the questions I have banging around inside my head is:
If someone is so deeply depressed that they can't even go grocery shopping and barely have contact with the world, what is the point of such suffering?
Mom said, she still felt it was worth it, but that she finds herself asking the same questions. Which I think is fair to ask.
The first thing that comes to mind is the idea that my faith is only important outside myself. That if I'm not impacting the lives of others, my faith is useless. However, I see that there is error in this thought, for God did not save me only to have me share with others. He saved me to have a relationship with ME.
So I go to: Why must there be so much suffering?
And the very next question I hear is: How much suffering would be acceptable?
I don't have an answer for that. Because if I say half, my measuring stick changes and half of today's suffering will soon feel like too much.
Then I think:
- How much suffering have I been spared from?
- Is this all just a first world problem and I am complaining about not having "enough" when I actually have "abundance" according to the world's standards. (example: I'm completely stuffed from a potluck and eating out today. Certainly this is not a 3rd world problem where every day could mean the difference between life and death.)
- Is all the "stuff" of first world living actually a kind of curse because it changes my expectations of God?
Just a little light conversation for today.
I get involved in tv shows every so often. I watch everything online or on Netflix and this affords me the opportunity to watch a series back to back. I fall in love with the characters.
Right now I've been watching Medium. I am on season five and I am totally in love with Joe Dubois. He is such a loving and sensative father and husband. I love how he deals with his crazy wife and all the weird things she puts him through. Even when he's upset and frustrated with her he is so loving. I even googled the actor who plays him. Oh man... I have it bad.
The good thing is that looking at their marriage it makes me want to be a better wife. Perhaps if I am nicer (because Allison is way nicer to her husband than I am to mine).
Before that I was in love with the guy from Law & Order Criminal Intent, Vincent D'Onofrio. I googled him too. (I google everybody.)
I wonder who else I've fallen in love with on TV. Probably every decent lead character.
So right now, I'm sitting here with all the things going on in my life watching a tv show and loving the husband on it...loving all the characters.
This makes me think about the Happiness Box. Do you remember that from psychology and philosophy class?
"We have developed a machine, a box with some electrodes and a life-support
system, which we call the 'happiness box.' If you get in the box, you will
experience a powerfully pleasant sensation, which will continue indefinitely
with just enough variation to keep you from getting too used to it. We invite
you to try it. If you decide to do so, you can get out of the box any time you
want to; but perhaps we should tell you that no one, once they have gotten into
the happiness box, has ever wanted to get out of it. After ten hours or so, we
hook up the life-support system, and people spend their lifetimes there. Of
course, they never do anything else, so their bodies tend to resemble
half-filled water beds after a few years because of the lack of exercise. But
that never bothers them either. Now, it's your decision: Would you like to step
into the happiness box? Why or why not?" (Solomon & Higgins, The Big
Questions, 8th ed., 30)
I think the TV (maybe in combination with the Internet) is a happiness box. Sitting on a comfortable sofa with a steady supply of food or snacks or... chocolate and coffee! I go there a lot. I have to admit I like it there. Anybody want to join me?
