tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22800126893585429642024-03-14T07:35:29.644-07:00Confessions of a 2x4 Girlmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-29521215984852891912012-12-11T07:00:00.000-08:002012-12-11T10:28:30.242-08:00disappointments<span style="color: #990099; font-family: arial; font-size: 12pt;"><strong>In my journey through the problem of evil and disappointment that life isn't better than it is, I received this devotion recently and it really blessed me. I find it often helps me when I learn that someone else understands my pain or my circumstances. That someone else has gone through these things as well. I know I am not alone and what's more, I'm even in good company.</strong></span><br />
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<span style="color: #990099; font-family: arial; font-size: 12pt;"><strong><span style="color: red;">Disappointments</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><span style="color: red;">TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1, by Os Hillman<br />12-06-2012</span></span></strong></span><br />
<strong></strong><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><i>Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. - Proverbs 13:12</i><br /><br />Life is filled with disappointments. Many of God's greatest servants experienced deep disappointment in their journeys of faithfulness to God. Joseph, after spending years as a slave and in jail for crimes that he did not commit, revealed deep disappointment when he was forgotten another two years in prison. John the Baptist, when awaiting execution, doubted whether Jesus was, in fact, the Christ because he was sitting there awaiting his death. Elijah, losing all hope and despondent to the point of death, asked God to take his life in the desert; and Peter, who left his fishing business and invested three years of his life only to watch his Savior crucified, wondered whether the purpose of those three years could be justified.<br /><br />When life doesn't add up, it leaves the heart sick. When we have done all we know to do and the formula has not worked, it leaves us questioning. These are times that try the very souls of men. There is no human sense to be made of it. We are left with a choice: to cling or not to cling. There are times when holding on to our Master's robe is all that we can do. It is all that He wants us to do.<br /><br />The heights by great men reached and kept<br /><br />Were not obtained by sudden flight;<br /><br />But they, while their companions slept,<br /><br />Were toiling upward in the night.<br /><br />Standing on what too long we bore,<br /><br />With shoulders bent and downcast eyes,<br /><br />We may discern-unseen before-<br /><br />A path to higher destinies!<br /><br />~Longfellow<br /><br />There is only one answer to life's disappointments. Like the psalmist, we must "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken" (Ps. 62:5-6).<br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">This is one of the few email devotions I read regularly. Os always has something worth sharing and he blesses me almost daily.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/tgif/">http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/tgif/</a></span>mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-52989281354449912412012-11-21T18:30:00.000-08:002012-11-21T18:30:00.727-08:00what I know today<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know that pride kills my relationship with Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anytime the “I” or “me” is primary in my thoughts I am probably in the wrong in some manner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that I see things primarily through my own eyes and while I am often certain of my own perspective, the world is complicated and my perspective is not the only one that is valid.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have struggled greatly over this past year in particular in my relationship with my husband.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I struggle because he does not meet my many of needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are often talking and acting past one another because we do not speak one another’s love language and neither of us try hard enough to bridge that gap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe (rightly or wrongly) that I feel this gap far more than my husband does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am deeply convinced that I am "more right” than he is on most of our issues and believe that the things I request from him are so small that it could possibly be cruel as to withhold them from me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My woes led me dangerously close to divorce and what stopped me from crossing that line is the belief that I would gain nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would gain only the 'loss of expectation' that things would get better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This could also be phrased as the HOPE that things would get better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve just chosen not to go there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve sided on my pain and emptiness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That my marriage has not turned out as I hoped and planned ultimately led me down the path of questioning God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not His existence because creation keeps me grounded there, but on who He is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The personal-ness of the Jesus I always knew.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been blessed with the gift of faith and of often of optimism and that saw me through much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ultimate disappointment I experience in my marriage struck hard and deep and I believe has been used by the enemy to bring my walk with God to a crawl if not a halt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was brewing for years but my encounter with evil through the movie "Food, Inc." added incredible fuel to the fire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The blaze of WHY has burned quite bright this past year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My encounter with evil so clear and unnerving that I’ve been rendered almost helpless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The evil is so big and I am just one; how could anything I do make a difference?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This same train of thought has carried me through in many other areas of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is the point of so much suffering?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I look at my Mom and see that while, yes, she has brought some of life’s ails upon herself, the most offensive of them were without her control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These events in her life have forever transformed her into a deeply broken person who often despairs of life and struggles to cling to God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What purpose is there in such suffering?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always wanted to be like Joseph who, as far as we read, did not ask “why” of God though he was taken from his family, sold into slavery, rose to power, wrongly accused and thrown in jail where he was left to rot, then brought out again to ultimate glory in being present for God’s will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love that we don’t read him asking why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here I am now, asking Why and I hate it; but I cannot stop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I must go through this if I ever hope to come out the other side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is still a part of me that trusts there is more though the doubt in my mind would seek to smother it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve tried to step back from the immediacy and emotion of my wants in my marriage and instead look at what I have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Look at and appreciate the good I have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though we are cautioned against comparison, we humans do love to compare ourselves to one another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I compare the man Adam is with many other husbands I know of, he does stand tall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is a good man, with high moral character.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He works steadily, often at jobs he truly dislikes, and provides financially for our family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He handles our finances with little complaint, though I do give him cause to complain more often than I should.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is a good father who cares for his children and does seek to give them a good life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He spends time with his children and while he does things in a very different way than I do, I appreciate that he is a father, not a mother, and I need to respect our differences.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My husband does most of the cooking and keeps things in our home from falling into complete untidiness, including doing most of the dishes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He doesn’t ask much of me, doesn’t ask me to do his laundry or clean his bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He gives me the freedom to serve as often as I want and has allowed me to attend a church I prefer over our old church, though I believe his heart is still back there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The separateness is not necessarily a rejection of me, though certainly I often feel it as such.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It can also be a coping mechanism for living in a life that is difficult (if only by first world standards).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In a world that seeks to rob us of our faith and beat down our hope, to exhaust us and keep us from shining a light for Christ.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, today I know that I am not always right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That there is always another point of view and even if I don’t share it, I do not ultimately decide the validity of the truth…God does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This weekend, I hope to spend some more time contemplating this and seeking reunion with a God I don’t always agree with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A God I don’t understand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To rekindle the hope that comes from knowing a God big enough I cannot grasp all of who He is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To allow the reinstatement of my trust that He knows best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That evil will not win.</span></div>
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mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-83615638709404803132012-11-20T07:00:00.000-08:002012-11-20T12:43:32.512-08:00computer virus edition: what is the point of suffering<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So I talked with my Mom last night and that was helpful. She has lead a very difficult life (before and after becoming a Christian). One of the questions I have banging around inside my head is:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">If someone is so deeply depressed that they can't even go grocery shopping and barely have contact with the world, what is the point of such suffering?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Mom said, she still felt it was worth it, but that she finds herself asking the same questions. Which I think is fair to ask.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">The first thing that comes to mind is the idea that my faith is only important outside myself. That if I'm not impacting the lives of others, my faith is useless. However, I see that there is error in this thought, for God did not save me only to have me share with others. He saved me to have a relationship with ME. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">So I go to: Why must there be so much suffering?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">And the very next question I hear is: How much suffering would be acceptable?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I don't have an answer for that. Because if I say half, my measuring stick changes and half of today's suffering will soon feel like too much. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Then I think: </span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">How much suffering have I been spared from?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Is this all just a first world problem and I am complaining about not having "enough" when I actually have "abundance" according to the world's standards. (example: I'm completely stuffed from a potluck and eating out today. Certainly this is not a 3rd world problem where every day could mean the difference between life and death.)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Is all the "stuff" of first world living actually a kind of curse because it changes my expectations of God?</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Just a little light conversation for today.</span>mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-73052792305279053672012-11-19T07:00:00.000-08:002012-11-19T10:24:36.367-08:00problem of evil<br />
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Honestly, my faith has been wavering much this year. Who is God, how involved is He, the whole problem of evil thing has bitten me and will not let go. The idea that Jesus has come already makes me start to wonder what the point of everything is. We seem to just struggle and suffer down here and there is so much of it. Perhaps I have lost my ability to count it joy having been denied the marriage I so wanted. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">I am finding the world more alluring and can even see that this could all be a trap of the enemy a’ la Screwtape, and yet…<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Creation is still the foundation of my faith as I do not see a way away from the knowledge that intelligent design is the only thing that makes a modicum of sense; in fact I find creation the single most compelling reason to believe in God.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">I see no benefit in such extreme suffering. Why should my Mother be so unhappy and so deeply depressed and alone. To what end? I find myself thinking that her inability to let go of the past and have any happiness as bordering on cruelty. Is the whole thing just a life lesson on the evil of sin?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">I hear the arguments on love demands choice. I sit with that. I completely agree that love demands choice. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">I know the argument for “how much evil would be acceptable?” Would half the evil in the world be acceptable? Well, probably not. How much evil have we been spared and just don’t realize it. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">I think perhaps I’m just being selfish or my usual 2x4 girl attitude is out of control.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">And yet, here I am.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-53029933585996032412012-11-08T07:00:00.000-08:002012-11-08T09:12:56.051-08:00 Women Teach in Church?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; tab-stops: 95.55pt 376.2pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 9pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I continue to struggle with the way the traditional church deals with women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It may just be my own pride, but I struggle greatly with the way I personally have been taught over much of my life that women are “lower” than men, that we cannot teach men.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think of a comment a friend of mine’s daughter said years ago that rings true for me… “I can’t think of another spiritual gift that is gender specific.” in discussing teaching and women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 9pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Just sharing something from someone I trust.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess I am mostly OK with the husband/wife pecking order because the entirety of teaching isn’t a dictatorship of husband over wife, but a relationship of mutual submission to one another highlighting what each gender needs most:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>women need love and God tells husbands to love their wives; men need respect and God tells wives to respect their husbands.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 9pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I don't know if I just refuse to "understand" this, but God gave me a brain and it seems pointless to not use it. That doesn't sound like God to me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 9pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">The following is taken from str.org, a truly wonderful resource that you should have bookmarked!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 9pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><a href="http://www.str.org/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=5718" target="_blank"> </a></span></span><b><span style="color: #003366; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><a href="http://www.str.org/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=5718" target="_blank">Women Teach in Church?</a><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 9pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #003366; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 9pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Gregory Koukl<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<i><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">What does I Tim. 2:11-15 say about the male-female "pecking order" in the church? Greg questions the commonly held translation, shedding some light on a touchy subject. "</span></i><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-no-proof: yes;"><v:shapetype coordsize="21600,21600" filled="f" id="_x0000_t75" o:preferrelative="t" o:spt="75" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" stroked="f"><v:stroke joinstyle="miter"></v:stroke><v:formulas><v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"></v:f></v:formulas><v:path gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect" o:extrusionok="f"></v:path><o:lock aspectratio="t" v:ext="edit"></o:lock></v:shapetype><v:shape alt="Description: Description: divider" id="Picture_x0020_5" o:spid="_x0000_i1029" style="height: 0.6pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 49.2pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><v:imagedata o:title=" divider" src="file:///C:\Users\BBB320~1.USP\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.gif"></v:imagedata></v:shape></span><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Churches who take what might be considered a more traditional or conservative view on <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20timothy%202:11-15;&version=9;" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #990000;">1 Timothy 2:11-15</span></b></a> don't allow women in leadership because of how they interpret this passage. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">There is a variation on that, and that is that they will allow women in leadership if there is a man over them. For instance, we have a male pastor and a male council in our church. No women are allowed on the council, but we do have female pastors because they are under the leadership of the male head pastor and a male council. That is because the word in verse 12 which talks about a woman teaching and exercising authority over a man has the sense of <i>usurping </i>authority. The idea there is that if she is not usurping authority, then it is legitimate for her to teach--like teaching the youth, or even teaching from the pulpit, or running a ministry--as long as there is a man over her; but there ought not be a woman that is the head of the church, or women on the council, because then they would be in a position of ultimate authority, which this supposedly restricts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">My problem with either of those two views is that they simply do not accord with the text itself if we are to take the text strictly at face value. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">"Therefore, I want the men in every place to pray lifting up holy hands without wrath or dissension. Let a woman quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet."</span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Now, what this says is not only that a woman should not be in authority over a man such that he does the teaching, but that in the pecking order of the church, every adult male has authority over every adult female. It's like the military where every officer is in authority over even the highest enlisted man. In the case of this passage, the lowest man in the pecking order of the church is above the highest woman, such that there are no women that are in any position of authority over any man. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I don't know of any church that takes it that way, but that is just what the words say on the traditional interpretation. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">They try to get around it when they say that it says not to <i>usurp </i>authority. It says, "I do not allow a woman to teach or usurp authority over a man." If you put a man in authority over her so she is not usurping the man's authority and then allow her to teach other men, you are still violating this verse. It doesn't say, I don't allow a woman to teach unless she has a man over her. As long as she has a man over her she can teach other men, which is the way they take it. It says, "I don't allow her to teach or usurp authority." Period. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">So, neither view takes the text seriously. The text goes too far, it seems to me, than anyone is willing to take it. If a person is going to take the passage in this fashion and translate men as men and women as women, then they have to go much further than they already do if they want to be biblical. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I personally think the word "men" and "women" are mistranslated here. Here's why I think so. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">First, all the men would be over all the women, and in other scriptures that we read we have occasions where women are in authority over men. Even in the Old Testament where you have a highly patriarchal society, you have women judging men. Deborah was a judge, for example. If you are identifying God's priorities, there may be a distinction between that and the church, but at least we see some pattern in the Hebrew Bible where this happened. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Sometimes you hear the explanation that there wasn't a man, so God had to raise up a woman. What a bunch of malarkey! If God does the raising up and His pattern is men over women, then He will raise up a man. That is just a weak response. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">When I did my own word study on the words man and woman, I found out that the word man is <i>aner </i>and the word woman is <i>gune </i>. In the case of the word <i>aner </i>, which occurs something like 150 times in the New Testament, fully 40 times that it occurs, it is translated "husband." In other words, "husband" is a legitimate translation of the word depending on the context. When you look at the context, virtually every single time that it wasn't absolutely clear that the woman with the man in the context was his wife, it is almost always translated "husband" and "wife." So this really is an unusual translation, given the pattern in the rest of the New Testament. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">So, I asked myself why would they break with the pattern in this passage? I think they were influenced by tradition, that's why they translated this passage man and woman and not husband and wife. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">What happens if we translate it husband and wife? That strikes me as a legitimate translation. It seems that when you translate it husband and wife, everything falls into place. Let me read it in that way: "Let a wife quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness; but I don't allow a wife to teach or usurp the authority of her husband, but to remain quiet." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Is that strained? Not at all. Is that difficult? Not at all. The "quiet" there is in the context of receiving instruction. I think the point is not that she never speaks, but that she is the one who is in the position of being taught as opposed to being in the position of the teacher. The word "teach" here is not in the aorist tense. In other words, an aorist tense means a single point in time action rather than a continuous action. So, it isn't saying that a woman cannot have a moment where she can tell something to her husband, it's that the woman should not be the teacher over her husband, but that the woman is actually under the teaching authority of her husband. He is the head of the household, spiritually speaking. That's really what it amounts to. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20timothy%202:1-8;&version=9;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">Verses 1-8</span></b></a> is in one grouping, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20timothy%202:9-15;&version=9;" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #990000;">verses 9-15</span></b></a> is another. Verse 11 and following is directed at women in the context of their relationship with a man to whom they are supposed to be entirely submissive. That is a marriage relationship. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Finally, no other place in Scripture teaches that all women should be under the authority of all men in the church. If this passage is to be interpreted the traditional way, this makes a new and unusual pattern of submission. However, the New Testament consistently teaches that a wife should be under the authority of her husband. That fits the larger context of the New Testament much better. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">There may be some problems with my understanding here, I am willing to acknowledge that. But I think that it is less problematic than the other view. Frankly, there are not too many other places in the scripture except for <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20corinthians%207;&version=9;" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #990000;">1 Corinthians 7 </span></b></a>where you have a similar kind of situation and the traditional translation there also breaks the pattern. So, I think this is as good a way as interpreting the passage as the other.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">1 Timothy 2 talks about the relationship between husband and wife; it’s chapter 3 that talks about church leadership. And it’s there that Paul is clear that men are to be in the roles of authority in the church as elders, overseers, and deacons.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 9pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">This is a transcript of a commentary from the <a href="http://www.str.org/site/PageServer?pagename=res_rad_index"><b><span style="color: #990000;">radio show</span></b></a> "Stand to Reason," with Gregory Koukl. It is made available to you at no charge through the faithful giving of those who support Stand to Reason. Reproduction permitted for non-commercial use only. ©1995 Gregory Koukl <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 9pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">For more information, contact Stand to Reason at 1438 East 33rd St., Signal Hill, CA 90755 <br />(800) 2-REASON <b> </b>(562) 595-7333 <b> </b><a href="http://www.str.org/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=5332"><b><span style="color: #990000;">www.str.org</span></b></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-69267794150810988492012-09-19T22:58:00.002-07:002012-09-19T22:58:49.533-07:00lonely<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am so lonely. I want romance! Not flowers and chocolates romance, real romance. Falling in love or being in love, feeling in love. Looking forward to sharing my day and my thoughts with somebody who cares. Everything seems so basic lately. I feel like there is no depth in my life. Am I just playing at living right now? It's not that I'm not present, because I am. Oh this makes no sense. I'm just rambling, but then, this is my ramble blog. Nonsense and deep thoughts and ranting when needed.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am lonely.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My marriage is a shell. We are roommates and parents with occasional benefits. I am the one doing the pursuing and I so want to be pursued. I want to be... wanted. To feel pretty and loved and interesting. I want to say "I deserve" to feel these things, but I don't know that I believe life is about my happiness. There is certainly happiness to be found in life, but I do not believe it is the goal. There is more to it than that. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I guess I am just lost with my marriage in trouble and my husband tuned out and here I am feeling better about myself than I ever have and "nobody" to appreciate it. It doesn't seem fair; but then I tell my children constantly... life is not fair.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am hiding in romantic stories of fictional men who care. Right now I am no disallusioned by relationships. I give too much and so often that I think I have trained others not to give back. So foolish. I wish I'd learned to balance this all better.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">sigh</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe I can sleep some of this off.</span>mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-66539926407833443452012-09-14T00:05:00.000-07:002012-09-14T00:05:42.971-07:00ouchThis past weekend was a bit rough for me. <br />
I'm glad it happened because I desire truth and know without it we can accomplish little.<br />
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Life has been pretty stressfull in our home.<br />
My husband was just laid off and while there are some good things to that (he's not stressed about work, he does all the driving for the kids to and from school and the house is really clean!!) it also comes with a down side. Not having enough money to pay everything being the primary one. Looking for a job when there really aren't any. <br />
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On top of that, our marriage is broken. Not irreparably so (in my humble opinion), but broken all the same. I've been asking (telling) my husband that I really need more from him and that I'm not going to last much longer without more. This is a conversation we've been having for years. I cycle through not being able to stand the loneliness anymore and then we make a few improvements and that placates me (and him? I don't know) and I can go forward again for a while. I'd recently had this "please talk to me" conversation and last Friday my hubby decided to... talk to me.<br />
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Except, it was a really bad day.<br />
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I was PMSing in an almost criminal fashion. Lack of sleep and had a bad day at work. On top of that, I was feeling neglected by friends and getting kind of angry with all the people in my life that weren't living up to MY expectations. (harumph) Ever been there? Yeah, not fun.<br />
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So I come in and sit down ready to lose myself in a tv show and pretend I don't feel like I do. My husband doesn't let it go. Now this in itself is fairly miraculous. He would normally try once and then say "OK" and go hide in his mancave. This time he pushed. We ended up going outside to sit in the car in order to have a little privacy from our children. There we talked (I talked) about me feeling strongly that he doesn't like me much. Telling him that I am the same woman he fell in love with and married. I still care about things and want to make a difference. I still want more out of life. I still love him and our kids and want to create a wonderful home for all of us. But I am lonely and it hurts and I am reaching a breaking point. Long story short, my husband admitted that he doesn't like me much (but does love me); that I can really make him nuts. That he has changed and he doesn't think there is much more to life. <br />
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Thinking over that conversation... I cried for 2 days. I even woke up at night crying. It was rough. But... I was also relieved. This truth I can work with. There is something here to work on. So after the initial waterfall of tears, I was able to think more clearly. Gosh... it sounds like my husband has lost hope. He doesn't have anything to dream about. Man, I'd be miserable too if I felt that way.<br />
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So, in moving forward in our relationship, we are now spending one night a week together to work on things. My only issue now will be not to try to make all the changes I"m hoping for at once!<br />
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Looks like my husband is stubborn too.mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-86635584610221875102012-09-10T19:00:00.000-07:002012-09-11T10:02:41.449-07:00marriage & selfishness<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<strong><span style="color: #990099; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Today's Prayer</span></strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;"> <br /><span style="color: purple;">God, Do You sense an independent spirit within me--one that hinders me from joining others in the mission You have called me to? While I do enjoy independence, it's nice sometimes to depend on someone else, to not have the whole weight of the world on my own shoulders. Help me to work with and live in harmony with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I want to help keep unity among believers as we go forward for the cause of Christ. If that means You need to work on that independent spirit within me, so be it. Help me, please. I love you, God. In Jesus name, amen.</span></span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Lord, I am quite sure I have an independent spirit. I have not been as close to you this past year. I don’t really like it. I feel lost and wandering without you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">I realize this is because I’m not getting what I want. That my husband is behaving so selfishly and I’m sure he feels he is not being selfish. I am constantly wondering if it is me who needs to change and while I’m sure there are still things I can do to help the situation, I am leaning on the bulk of the responsibility for change being his because he is the one who is closed off and not doing anything different.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">He cooks and cleans and tries to provide financially. Is it too much to ask for more? I can tell you that I am deeply dissatisfied by this or anything less than more. God programmed me to want more. How do I deal with that? Do I just set that aside in my life because my husband doesn’t think more is necessary? Do I pursue more on my own?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">I want him to want more. I don’t want him (or my kids for that matter) to settle for what is instead of reaching and trying for something better. It’s like we tried a few times to have something more and it didn’t work out as planned and now he won’t risk himself again. He is flat out wrong.</span><span style="font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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(Today's Prayer is taken from <a href="http://msg4svc.net/servlet/Pv?c=703d63676926733d3937353534266d3d3226743d4826723d542664613d30267469643d30" target="_blank">Prime Time With God</a> by Oz Hillman)mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-1471920173058334412012-09-06T23:19:00.001-07:002012-09-06T23:19:26.289-07:00Jesus Calling<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">First, if you have not heard of the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=jesus+calling" target="_blank">Jesus Calling</a> it really is a devotional you should own. It's so good. It is often just what you need to hear and I love when God does that.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Today I learned about having a critical spirit and how that creates a lot of dissatisfaction in our lives. being critical, thinking that we know the "right" way to do something really feeds pride and adds that it's not just that I (we) are right, you are wrong. Having a conversation with a friend about her father and him trying to teach a life lesson about the importance of higher education after watching a fast food worker mess up an order. Initially it struck me as just mean or petty, but as I listened, I thought, you know there is some truth there. Yes, not getting an education can lead you to working fast food. It is something parents use to help their children see the consequences of their choices in life. The other side of that is a lack of empathy for the worker... or the idea that each person needs to justify their life before you as if you (we/I whomever) in this scenario are the judge and jury to the validity of that person's life.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Man, I'm realizing how tired I am and I hope this all makes sense in the morning. I so rarely have time to write and I have much I want to say.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">So being judgmental and critical can really kill your dreams. I think in addition to being critical of others, you (we) are critical of yourself as well. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">A friend of mine and I talked about this today. I took it to heart as well and had to go back through my relationships to see where I am guilty of this behavior. I don't want to be but apparently it's contagious from those around us and I imagine others aren't that keen to be with us -- unless your plans for reveng are entertaining of course.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Here is today's Jesus Calling:</span></span><br />
<br />September 6<br /><br />Do Everything in depdence on Me. the desire to act
independently -- apart from Me--springs from the root of pride.
Self-sufficiency is subtle, insinuating its way into your thoughts and
actions without your realizing it. But apart from Me you can do
nothing: that is, nothing of eternal value. My deepest desire for you
is that you learn to depend on Me in every situation. I move heaven and
earth to accomplish this purpose, but you must collaborate with Me in
this training. Teaching you would be simple if I negated your free will
or overwhelmed you with My Power. However, I love you too much to
withdraw the godlike privilege I bestowed on you as My image-bearer.
Use your freedom wisely, by relying on Me constantly. Thus you enjoy My
Presence and My Peace.<br />
<br />John 13:5<br />Ephesians 6:10<br />Genesis 1:26-27<br />
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What is God speaking to you about? mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-46865076282491793672012-07-30T00:41:00.000-07:002012-07-30T00:41:01.178-07:00gay marriage<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As Christians I believe we often don't realize that we have a reasonable and grounded standard for our faith. I believe we have bought the lines the world feeds us about how Christianity is just a faith in something and that we have to ignore the real "facts" of science in order to be a Christian.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I want to say -- this is absolutely false! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We have a reasonable faith! Believing in Jesus as the son of man, in God as creator, in the ideas and ideals of Christianity is sound!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have struggled with what to do about homosexuality for a long time. I think the struggle comes from my dislike of the hateful manner many Christians take towards this issue. I dislike the extreme focus on it and feel that while we need to stand up against sin and encourage others to live a better life -- we need to encourage them towards something good as well as away from sin.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here is a well written article on the topic.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hope you have the time to read it.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.pleaseconvinceme.com/index/A_Simple_Case_for_Traditional_Marriage">http://www.pleaseconvinceme.com/index/A_Simple_Case_for_Traditional_Marriage</a></span>mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-5418516336663108902012-06-25T22:58:00.001-07:002012-06-25T22:58:13.598-07:00rebellion<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I am realizing more and more that I have a rebellious spirit. I just want things my way. I'm willing to go along with someone else but I want to hold back part.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Or I will go along for a while doing all I should and then notice that I have stopped doing something. It's like I am waiting to see if I will get caught. How long it will take before someone says something.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm not sure what this is about. I want to explore and bring this part of myself under control.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I am dealing with my extra curricular activities being on hold and trying to figure out what how to spend this time. I gave myself some time to chill and watch tv and be irresponsible; but after a few weeks, that option is pretty old. So now I need to focus my attention on something, I'm not totally sure what that needs to be. I also need to work on having more friends. I've allowed myself to be too isolated.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This therapy blog is interesting. Being honest online is interesting.</span>mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-23864549579696349302012-06-21T18:00:00.000-07:002012-06-21T18:00:03.877-07:00why should I be the first to change?<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"> <div dir="ltr">
<span style="color: magenta; font-size: small;">I just re-read this commentary and a thought came to mind of another similar story about people in a jail with a large pot of soup in the middle and they each have spoons long enough to reach the soup but the spoons are too long to feed themselves, they have to feed one another. They starve because nobody will go first and feed another for fear they won't be fed themselves.</span></div>
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<strong>COMMENTARY 779.1: Dying From the Cold Within</strong></div>
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><div dir="ltr">
by Michael Josephson on June 8, 2012</div>
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One of the great challenges to our humanity is acknowledging and overcoming our natural tendency to think less of and discriminate against people who are different than us racially, ethnically, religiously or ideologically.</div>
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Despite persistent rhetoric about prizing diversity, political debates often reflect disdain and contempt for those we disagree with and prejudices of all sorts are more readily stated. Indeed, there are disturbing signs that anti-Muslim, anti-Semitic and anti-Catholic attitudes are rising throughout the world.</div>
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A poem written in the 1970s by James Patrick Kinney called “The Cold Within” reminds us what’s at stake.</div>
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Six humans trapped by happenstance,<br />In black and bitter cold.<br />Each one possessed a stick of wood,<br />Or so the story’s told.</div>
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Their dying fire in need of logs,<br />The first woman held hers back.<br />For on the faces around the fire,<br />She noticed one was black.</div>
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The next man looking ‘cross the way,<br />Saw one not of his church,<br />And couldn’t bring himself to give,<br />The fire his stick of birch.</div>
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The third one sat in tattered clothes;<br />He gave his coat a hitch.<br />Why should his log be put to use,<br />To warm the idle rich?</div>
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The rich man just sat back and thought,<br />Of the wealth he had in store,<br />And how to keep what he had earned,<br />From the lazy, shiftless poor.</div>
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The black man’s face bespoke revenge,<br />As the fire passed from his sight,<br />For all he saw in his stick of wood,<br />Was a chance to spite the white.</div>
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And the last man of this forlorn group,<br />Did naught, except for gain.<br />Giving only to those who gave,<br />Was how he played the game.</div>
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The logs held tight in death’s still hands<br />Was proof of human sin.<br />They didn’t die from the cold without<br />They died from the cold within.</div>
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This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Then I am reminded of the book "Why Should I Be The First To Change" by Nancy Missler. It's a small little book with a powerful punch. I think perhaps I need to slide it off my bookshelf and let it lead me through the screaming and rebellion I am in right now.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Perhaps this is part of the process? The faith issues, the not volunteering. The growing selfishness. Part of the process I am in to take me where God is leading me. Where I am seems worse than where I was, but I understand that sometimes our journey feels that way. It doesn't mean the destination isn't worth going to.</span></span>mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-5537706614782171952012-06-20T23:23:00.001-07:002012-06-20T23:23:38.915-07:00jealousy<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Part of the discontent I have been feeling I think is due to my life not working out as I had planned. Perhaps this is my midlife crisis. If it is, may I personally share that IT SUCKS! Maybe I started to go through this when I officially turned 40 and decided I didn't want to do it. So maybe that ended up just being deferred and now I have to go through it anyway? Sigh.</span><div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I am jealous of my sister in law. She has the life I thought I would have. She is best friends with her husband, has a beautiful house and friends they spend time with, beautiful, accomplished children. When I look at her, when I look at her kids I see what my kids won't have. Because of the money, because of the stability of their family her children will have opportunities my kids won't. I can look forward and I am sad at the jealousy my children might have towards them. I'm sad that I didn't provide more for my children. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Now, I must say that I love my children and know that they are intelligent and beautiful. I wouldn't want to disparage them in any way. It's me that failed.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So is this what happens when you age? Regret? Dissatisfaction? This isn't who I've been or who I want to be. With the faith issues I've had I'm just disgruntled. I'm unhappy with where I am and stopping the volunteering seems to be making things worse and yet I'm fairly sure that is what God wants me to do.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">On top of all this, I feel like such a loser (and a whiny one at that) for feeling this way. It's like I can't win here.</span></div>
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<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Sorry to be so depressing.</span></div>mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-68912358740302163582012-06-02T00:53:00.000-07:002012-06-02T00:53:05.368-07:00mania<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I have cyclothymia. It's kind of like "baby bi-polar" my mood swings aren't as severe, but I can get pretty worked up. I lean towards the manic side; I have learned to fight depression with reasonable success. I am learning to deal with the mania. Part of it honestly feels pretty good. You know the high you can get sometimes where you just feel great about everything. That bounce in your step kind of feeling. That's where it stops. At first you think it's just a good mood. When it continues for too long, you start to realize there is more going on. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">There is this idea inside of me that I am being super productive and getting so many projects done with great ability. When the dust settles there is often a messy wake to look back upon. Projects started and not finished. Not even cleaned up after often. It can be quite frustrating for those around you. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Once one passes the stage of "I can do anything" (so if that's bipolar, perhaps mine is "I can do most things") there is another level added. Irritability. Things start to really get on your nerves. You (OK, I) start to get short with people, my speech is clipped or aggressive. I don't want anybody around me. Everything pushes my button of frustration. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Then we add that I am right. There is no arguing with me. Now this is probably also part of my personality -- cyclothymia or not -- but it's intensified here.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I have most likely had this mood issue from my teen years. I can remember having anxiety and panic attacks as a child and occasionally sleepwalking; though I think now that it was panic attacks that woke me up not actual sleepwalking. I spent up to the birth of my first child at 28 dealing with anxiety and panic attacks without any medical help.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It was not fun, but I will say that I did manage to live through it.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I had a brief diagnosis of panic attacks and anxiety and was given medication and a little hope that this could be managed better.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Then I got pregnant again and I wasn't even given the option of taking medication. Doctor took me off everything until I was done nursing. Which of course I did for 13 months after birth. So close to 4 years with the addition of a fairly decent bout of post partum. Mine started as peri-partum, which is to say that it began in my 2nd trimester. Don't get me wrong, I was beyond thrilled to be pregnant! I wanted children since I was one and to finally be pregnant! The bag of tricks that came along for the ride was not something I wanted to carry around.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Finally getting a full diagnosis and medication was a life changer. Since then I have been working on the adjustment to living with medication and still learning the signs and control over myself and my mood. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It is a daily process.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I choose to be grateful I have the opportunity to have help and be a better person.</span>mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-36818102432677288712012-04-23T20:23:00.001-07:002012-04-23T20:23:21.818-07:00Lost my vision<div><p>I am in a class right now and realize I have lost my vision for my life. I used to be happy with my life and pleased that one of my main goals was to encourage and bless others. I have lost that. (I think I may know where I put it.)</p>
<p>I am looking forward to getting back on track.</p>
</div>mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-1381134258572461102012-02-02T00:38:00.000-08:002012-02-02T00:38:06.099-08:00doubtmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-56758458090980261082012-01-05T23:36:00.001-08:002012-01-05T23:36:43.020-08:00How could this have happened?<div><p>I have been willing myself to go so far as to want to be healthy with the idea that if I wanted it, there was an outside chance it might happen. (btw, I cannot type for anything on this tablet!) So after a year of this wishful desire to want to care and then want to do sometbing about it I have begun to actually (gasp) do something.</p>
<p>I started walking. Not far or anything. I think it's been maye 4 days and already my body wants it. I know this is ultimately is this thing but I'm having a hard time accepting this. this isn't who I have always been. I tend to be more sedentary, leave me one with my happiness box and we'll all be fine. Life is more than a writers stories and memories.</p>
<p>I walked last night in some pain. Tonight I worked overtime for the second day in a row. I wasnt going to walk. Mh body rebelled. Unbelievable! So I had to do something while waiting for everyone to fall asleep. </p>
<p>I keep thinking about the quote... Fat doesnt taste as good as thin feels.</p>
</div>mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-4728557969395672032012-01-05T19:00:00.000-08:002012-01-05T19:00:00.631-08:00change the world<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Borrowing from another blogger today. (see link below)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">We talk about these kind of things at church too. That all we see in the world that requires change is so overwhelming... we end up doing nothing. So many people are without food and clean water, so many people ask for money to correct this problem, how do I know where to put my money, my time, my prayers? So I do nothing. Kenton says, help the person in front of you right now. Take advantage of the opportunity to give or to serve that presents itself to you today, this week and next week, take advantage of those opportunities. You may end up in a larger roll than expected; you may not. Brings to mind the starfish on the beach with one boy throwing them back one at a time. Adult comes up to the boy to ask why he's doing that, it won't make a difference. The boy responds, throwing one back into the water, "It makes a difference to this one."</span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://native-born.com/2011/11/15/4-things-you-can-do-right-now-that-will-better-the-world/comment-page-1/#comment-11796" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">4 Things You Can Do Right Now That Will Better The World</span></a>mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-68590223123576473162012-01-04T22:47:00.000-08:002012-01-04T22:47:40.505-08:00secret crush<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I get involved in tv shows every so often. I watch everything online or on Netflix and this affords me the opportunity to watch a series back to back. I fall in love with the characters. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Right now I've been watching Medium. I am on season five and I am totally in love with Joe Dubois. He is such a loving and sensative father and husband. I love how he deals with his crazy wife and all the weird things she puts him through. Even when he's upset and frustrated with her he is so loving. I even googled the actor who plays him. Oh man... I have it bad.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">The good thing is that looking at their marriage it makes me want to be a better wife. Perhaps if I am nicer (because Allison is way nicer to her husband than I am to mine). </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Before that I was in love with the guy from Law & Order Criminal Intent, Vincent D'Onofrio. I googled him too. (I google everybody.) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I wonder who else I've fallen in love with on TV. Probably every decent lead character. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">So right now, I'm sitting here with all the things going on in my life watching a tv show and loving the husband on it...loving all the characters. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">This makes me think about the Happiness Box. Do you remember that from psychology and philosophy class? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><blockquote class="tr_bq">
"We have developed a machine, a box with some electrodes and a life-support
system, which we call the 'happiness box.' If you get in the box, you will
experience a powerfully pleasant sensation, which will continue indefinitely
with just enough variation to keep you from getting too used to it. We invite
you to try it. If you decide to do so, you can get out of the box any time you
want to; but perhaps we should tell you that no one, once they have gotten into
the happiness box, has ever wanted to get out of it. After ten hours or so, we
hook up the life-support system, and people spend their lifetimes there. Of
course, they never do anything else, so their bodies tend to resemble
half-filled water beds after a few years because of the lack of exercise. But
that never bothers them either. Now, it's your decision: Would you like to step
into the happiness box? Why or why not?" (Solomon & Higgins, <i>The Big
Questions, </i>8th ed., 30)</blockquote>
</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I think the TV (maybe in combination with the Internet) is a happiness box. Sitting on a comfortable sofa with a steady supply of food or snacks or... chocolate and coffee! I go there a lot. I have to admit I like it there. Anybody want to join me?</span>mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-91486796338990992002012-01-03T21:36:00.000-08:002012-01-03T21:36:21.861-08:00bored<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I laugh a little as I write that word because I've been busy. Still, I am bored. I usually have more intellectual stuff to do and I've had very little of it. We have a shut down at work between Christmas and New Years so today was the first day since the 22nd that I've worked. It actually felt good to work today.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I didn't sign up for anything. By that I mean that... I didn't sign up for anything at church. I applied to do a different kind of ministry, but nobody has contacted me about my application so I have no idea if they will want me to join in on the fun and chaos.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">No women's bible study; which might not seem like a big deal to you, but I do this as a matter of fact and have done for for over 15 years. This past year is the first time in many years that I've not been involved in one. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The idea of not doing anything over the next few weeks or months kind of makes me nervous. The idea of not being committed to anything also kind of makes me happy. I'm just not sure I would continue to feel that way. So, I asked if the church needed any leaders for the next round of studies they are doing. I've led 2 groups, so I am at least qualified.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I guess I'm feeling a little rudderless. This whole not having enough friends has thrown me a bit. I guess I was so happy with having a group of friends for a while that when it whittled down to almost nobody I didn't quite know what to do with myself. Now I find myself reliant on one whole person to fulfill all my friendship needs and that's not fair -- or possible. I've now added a second person, so that's good. I can work on building some more with one or two people at work, but they also have very full personal lives. Hmmm, not sure where to go with this.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The plus side is that I am spending more time with my family. That is always a good thing. Perhaps that is what God intended.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">(side note: Lord, please help my daughter to find the power cord to the tablet so that wonderful little device might be charged and used and appreciated once again!)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I have so many wonderful ideas that if employed with consistency would put me in line for Mother of the Year; but that caveat (consistency) is the trouble. Consistency is not a strong suit for me. I am good at going to church. I can be consistent there it seems only.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">So, I remain bored. Bored means I watch too much TV. I've been watching a show about a family and am now falling for the husband/father because he's such a great hubby and father and it warms my heart. I know he's fictional (I even looked the actor up online to read more about him...silly I know). I go through periods like this where I latch on to someone because I've spent time getting to know a character. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Well, bored or not, it's bedtime and I have work early tomorrow.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Blessings on you all.</span>mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-17474628700042656542011-12-20T06:00:00.000-08:002011-12-20T11:36:31.745-08:00disagreements<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Dear God, I praise you and thank you for who you are. Please guide me and help me when I face conflict and disagreement with others. Help me to follow biblical principles. Sometimes I'm just "hard-headed" and do not want to give in to compromise, even when either view, decision, desire is biblical. Help me to carefully consider the other person's perspective and situation. And if someone has wronged me, give me courage to confront them in a spirit of love and reconciliation. If they will not hear me, show me who should go with me to talk with the person. When necessary, help me to continue on and take steps based on Your Word. I want to do what is right, and as much as possible, to live peaceably with all people. Please forgive me where I have failed, and give me the grace and wisdom to do better; to do what is right. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thank you Os once again for hitting me right where I need to be… hit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had a fight with my husband last night and while I’m still smarting from it and the general feeling of neglect I deal with in my marriage and my family; seeing that God cares about me does make a big difference in my ability to move forward in some way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean really!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sit here at work feeling wounded and unloved because of the argument and my husband’s ability to turn it off and move forward without any concern for how I’m feeling (drat, tears again!) and this comes as a prayer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I’ll be praying it hourly today as I attempt to not plot revenge by spending money this afternoon (for things I actually need yes, but in my state of mind there would be some revenge there too!).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Prayer from </span><a href="http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/tgif/subscribe/"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">TGIF: Today God Is First</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> by Os Hillman</span></div>
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<br /></div>mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-75125500870482405692011-12-09T18:00:00.000-08:002011-12-09T18:00:03.765-08:00SCL: Covet 2.0<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">A favorite blog of mine... wait, it's not a blog I write, it's a favorite blog. OK, whatever, I think you get it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Stuff Christians Like is a great blog! (That's better.) Today is "Serious Wednesday" and Jon (author) wrote about </span><a href="http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2011/11/covet-2-0/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Covet 2.0</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">. I am not alone in agreeing that this was a timely and oh so true post!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">(Welcome back; assuming you clicked to visit SCL and are now back... or perhaps I'm now alone with my covetous thoughts because you got lost in the wit and humor of SCL and are now committed to reading all the back posts.)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I sit before you at 12:16am, not tired (though I was at 8pm on my drive home thinking about a hot bath and a soft pillow before 9pm! Such a glorious goal missed again!), and filled with the desire to be more than I currently am. (and hoping the bunny downstairs who is making so much noise would STOP already!) I am going to catch a cold because this is my 3rd night (4th?) without enough rest and that always spells disaster for my health. I just can't seem to get to bed). Tonight I was even IN bed at 9pm, but this temptress of a computer was sitting there all glowy and warm, calling out to me. I've been working long hours this week and I feel out of touch with so many things; reading blogs and news and such online makes me feel like I belong somewhere in the world. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Does that sound bad? Is it a good or bad thing that the internet is what makes me feel like I belong? I guess if I still shower and have a job and can interact without people in a reasonable manner I am OK. That's the standard I'm going with for now; albeit a low standard. I do normally have far more live interaction with the world; but lately, my computer has been the go to source. I'm not even really talking to people online. I'm not on Facebook much, or emailing letters. I'm just reading and occassionally writing. There's so much inside, but often when I want to type it out of me... it's elusive. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyG69sHP0IWI-_EejnwMrsedp6tIuNEVZZvHx-SRbcZSNnbNwKnRVPq5EZ2PQDrhDTIWLgZYFgMXGDH5Nqli-aXZ-5jyf5RjY2bh6rHlL-YbiLyEw-ozd4avxg7eShWIk9h2lxWheviyC3/s1600/notlifeordered.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyG69sHP0IWI-_EejnwMrsedp6tIuNEVZZvHx-SRbcZSNnbNwKnRVPq5EZ2PQDrhDTIWLgZYFgMXGDH5Nqli-aXZ-5jyf5RjY2bh6rHlL-YbiLyEw-ozd4avxg7eShWIk9h2lxWheviyC3/s320/notlifeordered.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I find myself looking at the (albeit 1 dimensional) lives of others and dealing with some fairly deep dissatisfaction in my own life.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I know... I shouldn't compare myself with others - honestly I do know that! It's biblical, it's wise! And yet...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">So, I will be working on uninstalling Covet 2.0! I fear though, it is much like AOL and as often as I uninstall it will pop back up because it has embedded itself so deeply in the processes of my heart. Perhaps this is why the word sacrifice comes up so often when discussing living our lives for Christ.</span><br />
<br />mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-19038880290969617292011-12-08T17:30:00.000-08:002011-12-08T17:30:00.821-08:00Using Jerry Springer to Preach Christ<span style="color: #990099; font-family: arial; font-size: 12pt;">This is the only email devotional I receive these days and most days I read it. I love that Os starts with a prayer and how often that prayer puts me in the place I need to be or speaks to where I am. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #990099; font-family: arial; font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Taken from: <a href="http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/" target="_blank">TGIF Today God Is First</a> Volume 2, by Os Hillman</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #990099; font-family: arial;"><strong>Today's Prayer</strong><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span><span style="font-family: arial;"><!--Notes ACF MIME message header place holder-->God, I know that Jesus had a special place in His heart for the poor. He said that the poor would always be among us. How can I use my gifts and talents to help the poor in my community? Please lead me and show me the best way to bless them and meet their needs in your name, that I might also point them to You. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #990099; font-family: arial;"><strong>Using Jerry Springer to Preach Christ<br /><span>TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman<br />12-08-2011</span></strong></span><strong></strong><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>"On hearing this, Jesus said, 'It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: "I desire mercy, not sacrifice." For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners'"</i> (Matt 9:12-13). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial;"> </span><br />
Linda Rios Brook is a businesswoman who desires to impact the culture with the Good News of Jesus Christ. Linda lives on the front lines of the fast-paced world of business. A former President and General Manager of a network television affiliate in Minneapolis, Linda resigned her position after making comments about her faith in her local newspaper; which subsequently resulted in a company policy which precluded officers and managers from publicly identifying with a specific faith. <br />
Linda was approached by a Christian foundation with the opportunity to purchase a television station in her local market. The idea of managing a "religious" television station did not appeal to her in the least because she knew that such a format would not sustain a for profit business model. <br />
After losing hundreds of thousands of dollars every month in attempting to attract a "Christian audience" she realized that the station could not survive without a more mainstream programming lineup. An opportunity arose to get the Rush Limbaugh program from a competitor, but only if she also took "The Jerry Springer Show." Linda struggled with what to do with this program, knowing the religious community would criticize this decision. Then, the Lord gave her an idea. <br />
She decided to place a rolling statement across the bottom of the page that said, "Need a friend? Call 555-5555." She decided to use the Jerry Springer Show as bait for ministering to those who might be watching the program, who she concluded represented a ripe field for the gospel. Her insight proved true. The phones began to ring off the hook and many came to Christ as a result. <br />
Sometimes we need to get out of our religious boxes and see how we can impact the culture using even the most negative influences in our culture to do it.mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-54580506040260894722011-11-28T23:55:00.001-08:002011-12-01T00:11:22.620-08:00strange dreams<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">So, I
often have some pretty strange dreams.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have a friend who always says “Please don’t tell me about your dreams… I don’t
care.” Which I get, but still, I have some pretty interesting ones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">I
dream about spiders a lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
apparently mean something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually
everything means something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like to
look things up in dream journals when a particularly vivid dream hits me, but I
truly have no confidence that anything they say is accurate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always wonder who decided what different
elements in a dream mean?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do we know
that is true or accurate?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think Freud
had a lot to do with it and Jung; but don’t we kind of know now that Freud
wasn’t the sanest person to begin with and that the pool of people he chose to
study were not a standard by which the general public would choose as
‘normal’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway… that being said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here is my latest dream.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">In the
ocean just offshore and there is suddenly a cow in the water. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A group of people decided that we should get
the cow out of the water and devised a raft type contraption pulled by a boat
to do just this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, we were concerned
about sharks because the cow raft contraption wouldn’t go very fast without
tipping over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Yes, my dreams are this
detailed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s no wonder I often wake up
tired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve “done” so much while
sleeping.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">To
keep the sharks away we decided I would follow (fuzzy detail… in a boat? Just swimming?
Who knows.) with a big stick that would put out sound waves and hopefully
distract the shark.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, having not
thought this through properly, the distraction became ME and now the shark was
following.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I made it to shore, on a very
short beach with the tide coming in and was quite fearful the shark would
follow into the shallow water and bite me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So I climbed up the rock cliff in front of me a bit to get out of the
way of the shark.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I made it just high
enough that the shark couldn’t get me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s head was touching the bottom of my foot, but I couldn’t get any
higher without risking falling and giving the shark his opportunity to eat
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I stayed that way until the tide
went out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seemed like a really long
time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">I must
have eventually managed to extricate myself from my friend the shark, because
then I was staying with a friend in a beautiful ocean front home and we were
going to sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t sleep because
we were so close to the water and I couldn’t relax after my near fatal shark
encounter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I went for a walk and
quickly found myself on a path in a semi wilderness where I happened upon a….
smoothie machine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was oddly stationed
about 20 yards from the concession stand where one would pay (and get other
food).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I grabbed my smoothie and went to
pay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the window, imagine my glee to
see that Johnny Depp was working there; though I wondered why on earth he was
there even in my dream.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told him it
was wonderful that he was so “nice” and “down to earth” (one can only assume
because he chose to work in this little out of the way smoothie spot in the
middle of nowhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I may have tried to
tell him about the shark encounter, but alas; it was time to wake up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or so said my husband walking from room to
room to wake the house up for Monday after a nice long weekend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">If one
were to look up the main elements of my dream in a dream dictionary; you might
find…<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"><strong>Shark</strong>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To see a shark in your dream indicates
feelings of anger, hostility, and fierceness. You are undergoing a long and
difficult emotional period and may be an emotional threat to yourself or to
others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps, you are struggling with
your individuality and independence, especially in some aspect of your
relationship. Alternatively, a shark represents a person in your life who is
greedy and unscrupulous. This person goes after what he or she wants with no
regards to the well-being and sensitivity of others. The shark may also be an
aspect of your own personality with these qualities.</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">Alternate Possibility:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who knows why a shark is there; but the shark
pressing on my foot all night could have been my daughter doing her best at
extreme cuddling where she entwines herself in my limbs to the best of her ability
(all while asleep, it’s really pretty incredible).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My guess is her foot was under my foot and
pressing into the bottom of it.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">Now I’m
wondering if this isn’t also from the nature show I caught with my
daughter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although it was about lions
and cheetah’s and such; although one was in a tree to get away from hyenas.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"><strong>Cow</strong>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To see a cow in your dream symbolizes your
passive and docile nature. (excuse me while I laugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, there is one person in my life I do
fall into this behavior with and I was not happy Sunday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Could be.) You obey others without question. (more
laughter) Alternatively, a cow represents maternal instincts or the desire to
be cared for. For some cultures, the cow represents divine qualities of
fertility, nourishment and motherhood. (Alternate explanation:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>probably because I watched the last few
minutes of a movie with cows in it, but still, why in distress and why in the
OCEAN?).<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"><strong>Rescue</strong>:
To dream that you are being rescued or rescue others represents an aspect of
yourself that has been neglected or ignored. You are trying to find a way to
express this neglected part of yourself. Alternatively, it symbolizes an
unconscious cry for help. Perhaps you are too proud in your waking life to ask for
assistance. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Not too proud to ask for
help, but there is an issue or two in my life that this could describe.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">Ocean:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To see an ocean in your dream represents the
state of your emotions and feelings. It is indicative of spiritual refreshment,
tranquility and renewal. Alternatively, the dream means that you are feeling
empowered and unhindered. You have a positive outlook in life and are not
limited by anything. If you are sailing across the ocean, then it signifies new
found freedom and independence. You are showing great courage. If the ocean is
rough, then the dream represents some emotional turmoil. You are doing your best
to handle life's ups and downs. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">So,
whatever that means… Goodnight. Don't let the bedbugs (or sharks) bite.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280012689358542964.post-18368999585126742011-11-28T07:00:00.000-08:002011-11-28T07:00:06.386-08:00Facebook<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So I have been pretty much staying away from Facebook for the past two weeks and I have to say that not going on and seeing the seemingly "perfect" lives everyone else is living.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I think this FB vacation is going to continue!</span>mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07346319288353107154noreply@blogger.com0