Wednesday, September 7, 2011

baby bi-polar

Have I told you that I have a mood disorder? I do. I am coping quite well with medication (better living through pharmaceuticals), but there are times when it rears its ugly head. Tonite apparently is one of them.

Currently it is 130 in the morning. I have been happily awake since 430 yesterday morning. This would barely hit my radar if I were, say, in my twenties. I mean who needs sleep in your twenties?! There is so much to do! However, by your forties I expect most of us have learned the importance of naps. I personally love a good nap. Now a bad nap could possibly put someone's life in jeopardy - for instance the party guilty of waking me up! (Hey, that was a good dream).

This evening however my body took over. Or rather my mood disorder did. I just kept humming along at a good clip. I actually got quite a lot done. This is not often the case. More likely I would have started multiple things and finished none. So that part is good.

But coming up on the side of 2am... not sure it was worth it. Not sleeping ultimately feels like self destructive behavior.

In case you didn't know; self destructive = bad.

I will pay for this tomorrow (or wouldn't it be wonderful if my crash came tomorrow night?!) And contemplate how to avoid a repeat performance.

How are you self destructive? What are you doing about it?
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