Now, you need to know that I don't have access to any of the "fun" websites from work. No personal email, no FaceBook, no YouTube, so, they like actually want us to work here! I have limited to no time to be online at home, leaving the only chance to catch up on any of these social media lie on my phone; which while lovely and useful, is woefully small and difficult to correspond with in any volume.
I tell you this because I recently started receiving the devotion again... at work! On my work email. I'm not sure how this happened but it's feeling like the step just prior to that 2x4 moment!
I've ignored the email for several days until the thought above occured to me, then printed it out to read in my prayer closet (the bathroom at work --> hey, don't judge me, it's literally the only place I can be alone except for a few rare occassions in my car, which I spend attempting to talk with people I miss.).
OK, back to the devotional/prayer. Today it's on Submission to authority (so I'm already feeling defensive! Accept that, it's to pray for my husband to be submissive to the authority in his life. OK then!
I'm reading along, knowing that these issues apply to me every bit as much as they apply to my hubby. Got through 2 scriptures on the topic (Proverbs 19:16 & Romans 13:1-2). So far so good.
But seriously for a moment. My greatest desire is for my husband to submit his worry to God and allow his faith to grow as he sees God work out all the issues necessary in our lives. My hub is a chronic worrier and I would love to see him set free from this burden.
Then there is a Challenge. Oh, I like challenges... but, oh no... there, the author went and made me look at myself again! I knew it was coming, God truly never lets me get away without seeing the log in my own eye. She throws out 1 Corinthians 11:3 and then Ephesians 5:22-24 (we'll do a discussion about how the context of the verse is all of us as Christians submitting to one another... but some other time). And in case I wasn't yet convicted of my abject failure on this topic... we end with 1 Peter 3:1-2.
If I want God to help my husband with his worry, I need to be a part of the process. God cares as much about my own log as he does as the speck I perceive as a tree in my husband's eye. I often spend time with a saw or tweezers trying to "help" the hubster with his problem and now truly realize I can't see to do any kind of good.
This God we serve is so odd. Making us be the change we want to see in the world (thank you Ghandi for so perfectly articulating Jesus).
Maybe some eye drops would help me?