Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Wow did life change when the kids went back to school.  I am happy they are occupied with more productive things during the day, but the additional responsibilities it puts on all of us is certainly a wrench in the works of peace and relaxation.

I come back to submission today.  So not a favorite word of mine.  Not because I'm not willing to let God do the work, because honestly, this sounds like a great deal to me.  Until I have nothing to do.  Then, maybe not so much.  I am not good with doing nothing.  In fact, during the year I was in therapy, it's a small miracle that I didn't lash out at my therapist for ending each session with "Go and do nothing."  We were working on issues I didn't know I had and he probably spotted a mile off.  Over commitment and being a responsibility thief. I still struggle with both, but more because I want to act on it than because I have acted.  I still take on a little too much, but I think the volunteer work I do is important.  (Of course you think it's important or you wouldn't do it.)  I struggle daily with where I have my priorities and am I spending my time wisely.  Which comes up over and over for me.

I need some down time to think and pray.  To align myself again with the goals and principles that should be guiding my life instead of just sailing along by the seat of my pants.

Next... health.  I have been poked with a stick multiple times this summer (vs. hit with a 2x4) and I think that perhaps I will listen.  I need to change how I eat, add exercise and get a bit healthier (OK, a lot healthier).  The problem has been for the longest time that I wanted the results, but wasn't willing to do the work.  (Sound like anybody you've met?)  I have been at a loss for months, perhaps even years, with how to overcome the "I don't want to" shouting inside my head.  My plan thus far has been to picture myself thinner and healthier with more energy making all areas of my life better.  It's working a bit.  I'm cutting down on the Coke to just a few sips instead of a can a day.  Just removing this has helped with my sweet tooth.  I tried a salad today, but I crashed because it didn't have enough to it.  

Overwhelmed.  There are so many areas I want to change.  I guess I have to just pick one and start moving forward.


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