Word & Funny of the Week

I am a huge fan of LOLCats (AKA Icanhasacheeseburger).  I am totally on board with the cats on the internet thing.

One of my responsibilities at work is to keep morale up.  A task I take seriously.
I am now sharing one of the ways I attempt to do this.  I post these in various places around the office and update them weekly.

You lucky people now get to share in the fun!

What do you think?  Did you get the Word Puzzle answers? 

Stupid Kids

Have you heard that kids -- especially teenagers -- are stupid?  I have.  I've heard that their brains are still forming and they aren't capable of making good decisions.

And then I remember that the Apostles were teenagers.  A group of teenage boys completely changed the world.  That is compelling.  there is a book I want to purchase for my kids and have them read.  It's called Do Hard Things, A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations.  I want to read this too.  I like the message and I believe the message to be true.

Yes, kids are stupid.  They are growing and changing all the time.  I know both of my children, my daughter especially, become clumsy as they go through some of their growth spurts.  It is part of the process of growing.  Having your feet get larger and kicking everything in your way.  Getting taller and hitting your head on things you never used to have a problem with.  Learning what your "new" body is like. 

Yes, kids can be stupid because their brain is still growing and learning so much about the world.  Yet, we never really stop learning, do we.  To a 40 year old, a 20 year old is a baby.  To a 50 year old, a 30 year old -- even a 40 year old -- still has so much to learn about the world and the way things work.  Experience is the best teacher and you simply cannot borrow as much as we might want to from the history of others.  (though the Bible does tell us "a word to the wise is sufficient").

I believe, that despite these areas where growth is still occuring, teens have an untapped vision and passion that cannot be daunted by conventional wisdom.  We need to hold onto that faith in possibillities.  We need to encourage them that anything is possible!  Doesn't God tell us all things are possible with Him?  That He can do immeasurably more than we could ever think or imagine?!  That is HUGE!

Then I think of God's encouragement that we should come to Him as little children.  Willing to hear what our Father has to say and believe Him to be truthful.  Children generally don't second guess their Father (ok, honestly, my children second guess me all the time... but I like the idea that there are children who believe their parents.  Mine have just learned to question so much.)

How do we live as children?  Believing God sized dreams full of possibility?  Where do we stand?  Where do you stand?

I know that I will be encouraging my children more in the future that anything is possible.  To pray and ask God what His plans are for their future and believe that with Him...ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN! 

I'm kind of excited!

Parenting Difficulties

Sometimes parenting just sucks.  Especially when you realize that you have nobody to blame, but, well, yourself!  I am a recovering Marshmallow Parent who has admittedly spent some years in the role of parent trying to make up for things from my own childhood –or- following in my parent’s footsteps.  My husband came from a strict and only child home in another country.  We rarely meet on issues and have not been good at setting standards and backing one another up. (Yes, we are working on this, I’m just being honest.)

Today I am T I R E D!  Why you ask?  Well, because this is the last week of summer and my children have decided sleep is unnecessary.  They want to suck the marrow of freedom from these final days of uneducated bliss.  My daughter was practicing sign language (because we saw a show about it and now both kids want to learn) and my son was building a gun out of Lego.  OK, I’m happy that they were doing things other than watching TV and the like, but I do still have to rise early each day and not getting enough sleep for 4 days in a row is going to kill me.  I’m not as young as I used to be!

This brings up something I often find myself struggling with and leads to great frustration.  My marriage, as I have said before, needs work.  Our communication and time together is pretty embarrassing.  We have some pretty awesome parenting tools that I have been working with and using and it makes a difference.  (It’s the scaffolding around the de-mallowing of Marshmallow Mom.)  In order for this to be truly effective (in these few remaining years of actual parental influence we have left) these practices must be done together as a united front.  We just don’t do that.  It seems there is never enough time, or energy, or privacy, or motivation, or (fill in your reason or excuse here). 

I cannot be alone in this, but I sometimes feel I am.  Perhaps this is because I have several friends who seem to have this down pat.  They know the rules, the set the boundaries, they follow through consistently and the results are pretty awesome!  Perhaps it is because I compare myself to these people, or those other bloggers I follow, or people on Facebook  and I want more from my life; so I see myself as having come up short.

Where do you stand?  Are you coming up short?  I believe I will begin pondering the ways I am a good parent next.  That will be a good balance for this I believe.

Frusterated (yes... again)

Bad few weeks with some hope. Kids are out of control and ignoring what I say. Hubster still hiding in his room most of the time. I did not think this would be the life I would have. I had...still have... high expectations for my family. I always thought I would be the kind of mother who could look at my kids and they would behave. This makes me laugh now. I am more of a marshmallow parent than that. Part of it is laziness on my part. So much is left to me and everyone wants their rolls nicely defined, not that they follow through.

Yes, I am borderline depressed. I am so done. (Which is my way of saying I don't want this conflict anymore, but I am not quite sure what to do about it.)

I need to go back and relisten to Total Transformation program and get back on track.

Just saying that gives me more hope.

OK arms hurting from typing on this little keyboard.

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Hope Again

So while I have a belief still that my husband won't change into the perfect man (would that mean I have to be the perfect woman?  oh my, that's too much work), after a very difficult week in my marriage I have decided to be myself and continue to try.  (hold the applause please...this is God more than it's me).

I was so ready to let the ball rest in his court and give the hubster enough rope to hang himself with when two things happened. 

1. I went to church.
2. Someone recommended "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" and I watched a clip.

Church always has a way of changing your perspective and helping ensure you are on the right track.  (hint: if your church isn't doing this, you may want to look around).  They did a teaching on Jonah of all things and you so wouldn't see marriage advice in that lesson, but it's there!  Jonah was proud and wanted things his way, not God's way.  He pouts and stomps his feet because God is merciful just as Jonah thought.  I wasn't hit with a 2x4 this time, I was hit with a rubber chicken (I'm not kidding).  Part of the events on stage they threw things into the audience and I was hit by this rubber chicken. My take away was where am I being proud and wanting my way, vs. doing what God wants.

Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage talks about having to tell a man, and tell them more than once, and be direct, no hinting.  I guess after the chicken inspiration, I was open to being the one to move forward again. 

So this morning... my husband hugged me and while I didn't really want to hug, I did.  And we kissed and then I prayed for him.  There, aloud, in the kitchen.  Prayed that God would show him his value and purpose at work (a job he is so not fond of). 

We'll see how it goes.

Down time

I am sitting here alone in my home right now.

Yes, actually A L O N E in my own home!

OK, I realize this may not be the biggest deal in the world to you, but it almost never happens to me.

It's been a very tumultuous week for me.

I had a huge fight with my husband that ended when I went to stay at a hotel for the night.  Which should have been a terrible or lonely experience for me and instead was a nice respite and I kind of wish I could have stayed for a week!  The bed was so comfortable.  The only person I had to concern myself with was me.  There was no mess and the only noise was the train going by a few times -- which I hear at home too so it really barely registered.

Which makes me think.  How much of life and the things we need to be aware of barely register?  The complaints of our spouse that we've heard so many times but haven't done anything to address... and now we no longer hear the complaint?

I know that for a long time I did not see the mess in my home.  Partially I have been paralyzed by it and only recently understood why.  Which is how my eyes opened to the mess in my home.  Now I work on it and we are getting better, but it never seems to end!!!  (Need to throw out more stuff, if you don't have a spot for something give or throw it away... I'm getting there.)

After the big blow up with the hubster, I think I lasted one whole day of not wanting to talk to him.  Then, I went to church and my heart was softened in a big way that I have to be who I am and who God has called me to be.  I have to forgive, I have to move forward and try.  I have to push the part of me that thinks nothing will change away.  I can always change so by definition, something will change.

I don't want to be deaf to things I can change.  I want to hear and see what God is calling me to so that I can be who He sees and live a life worthy of the calling God has placed on my life.  I guess hope does continue to live in my heart and in my mind.  Now I need to allow it into my actions.

Discontent

I am discontent. I try not to be. I know that discontent often comes from expectations and as sad as it may initially sound, I try not to have many expectations. I don't expect my kids to behave- I know they won't and am pleased when they do what is expected. We are all a work in progress and any step in a forward direction is a good thing.

This does not mean I don't have big dreams or high standards, because I do. I want a loving relationship with my husband that is mutually fulfilling. I want my kids to grow up to be wonderful, thoughtful, kind people who can support themselves financially at something they even like doing.

I want to have family dinners (maybe everyday is a lot to ask for but a few times a week is not. Perhaps part of my issue is the sheer volume of things requiring improvement and how overwhelming it is. I love my job, but am seeing how hard all this is with 2 working parents, a girl fighting puberty and a teen boy who often thinks the rules just aren't that important. Add to that my reading about the Quitter conference and looking through Facebook watching the great lives it seems everyone else is having. I am not having a pity party. There may be some "poor me" in the mix; however my focus is more on how to make things better. Where to start? Anyone else feeling overwhelmed by life? Feel free to kvetch here, but let's not be a full time kvetcher (is that a word?). )

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